I know for a fact that there are many women who are willing and insistent that they live polygamy. Most of which were probably raised to believe that way. But what about the women who were not taught from childhood that polygamy is a good way of life?
I’ve heard stories about women who were not raised in a polygamist community and yet wanted to become polygamists. And I know of and know personally women who were not raised in a polygamist life style and yet they were drawn towards it and are now living plural marriage.
Are there women wanting to become polygamists out there, who are not already living in a polygamist community? If so what is it that draws you towards a polygamist lifestyle?
Is it because you believe it is a true principle?
Do you believe that a good man is worth sharing?
Are you looking for the support that can be gained by having sister wives?
What are your reasons for wanting to become a polygamist? If you have any thoughts or answers please feel free to leave a comment.
March 17, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Without prejudice.
It is my belief that there is a very fine line between living the principle because you believe in that and just wanting the fantasy.
That said and done any woman who has been brought up that way and seen the benefits of it (and I do know a few!) may choose to grow up and live in that kind of family,Although they may want to be the first wife in most cases depending on their maturity and the reasons behind them wanting to have a thrid party in the marriage.Then there is is the tiny minority who will be so much like their mothers and thats all they know so they will do as such.
Then there are some who grew up in plural families who as much as they love their faimlies they hate the principle (and yes I do know some!).Believe it or not its not as rosy as what most people are making it out to be!The only down side to this group of people is they may be against the principle and will talk some people who may be interested in it.Rather than trying to make then see a more balanced view of it all.
Most women who didnt grow up in such communites/families are being drawn to it by the not so feasible fantasies being shoved in their faces these days (no offence!).Besides no mother in non plural marriage is going to teach her children otherwise.So how else will that girl grow up to emulate the idea?Unless if they have very close friends who grew up that way or they are TERRIFIED of losing their husbands who may well have been enticed or drawn to the idea and therefore they will do anything to save their marriages or houses or simply how much of a christian they are.
Is a good man worth sharing?My response is to that is sure.HOWEVER if he really is that good then he is not going to want to share himself between two or more people.If he really is THAT good then he will have found himself a very good wife and he will be content with her and her alone.So its a bit of a stale mate really but possible.
Would any woman who is happy with her husband CHOOSE to be in a polygamous relationship just for the sake of it knowing some of the independences that are bound to be lost choose to bring a second person?This is a question one needs to ask a very honest person I think.My feel on all this is it all comes down to how much the wife loves the husband when it comes to the question of welcoming a stranger wholeheartedly into their life.
April 5, 2008 at 4:29 am
Are you freaking kidding me??? Who would walk into being abused and mistreated and held as a slave?? WAKE UP YOU COLORADO CITY FREAKS!!!!!
April 5, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Conseta,(without prejudice)I personally am offended by YOUR ASSUMPTION that all polygamous families are unhappy abusive houses!!!it is ignorance like yours this world dont need.Word of advise research a bit before calling people names.I admit not all home are happy homes (plural or not) but lets give credit to the ones that ARE!!!!!!!!!
April 8, 2008 at 10:32 am
I agree EVERYONE has the right to live their own lives according to what makes the happy, the bible is a guide for living not a rule book, HOWEVER i do have issue with 16 year old girls getting married , even if the men is 17 or 45 I think children should enjoy being a child , the amish give there kids a break to see if the amish lifestyle is really for them , so why dont polyamous family do the same let these kids make their own choice excuses the misspelling it is super early in the a.m.
that is my view as a catholic.
April 10, 2008 at 9:37 am
I think we are all going a bit off way here.I agree we all have to live according to certain rules of CIVILISATION or at least feeling for the next person.I am in no shape or form condoning child marriages or abusive marriages.I am in no place to say what age is right for someone to marry.However my point is I will give dues where they are valid ie if a family is happy (pluarl or not) I will say well done.I do not agree with forcing polygamy onto a person male or female,young or old.Noone in this life can be a judge of other people unless if they are perfect in themselves.The point of this topic was not to agree or disagree with the way of life but just to try and see what the reasons for choosing such a lifestyle could be.
June 24, 2008 at 9:25 am
you asked..
Are there women wanting to become polygamists out there, who are not already living in a polygamist community?
For me, I would say a resounding “yes.”
you asked “If so what is it that draws you towards a polygamist lifestyle?”
For me, I would say the love of family. The security of knowing where my husband was, every night. Of having his children around me. Of knowing that the family – the entire family – believed that this was a lifestyle sanctioned by God, and actually practiced what they believed. The support of community, the support of family…rather than being expected to excel at every aspect of life, alone. Having friends within the family, whose interests were my interests, because we share the same husband, the same family.
Is it because you believe it is a true principle? I’m not a mormon…I just began reading on mormonism..
Do you believe that a good man is worth sharing? Yes. I believe that what you desire for yourself is what you want for your sister.
Are you looking for the support that can be gained by having sister wives? Yes. It’d be nice to not be lonely within a family.
June 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I did not grow up in a polygamous family, but i can see the basis for a bibical belief in ‘the principle.’ i believe true family is created not in the number of spouses or children, but in the love and support that family provides. I fully believe that everyone should be free to practice thier belief whether it is polygamous, polyamorous, monogamous or asexual. It pains me that people are getting persecuted for their beliefs.
I am currently in a polyamorous lifestyle which could potentially become polygamous. As a wife , mother, professor, and phd student… i appreciate the support i find in my husband’s ‘other woman’. She is wonderful for our family and i am happy we have made the decision to share our lives. I hope it becomes a permanent situation! I was not forced into this lifestyle (in fact my friends and family will testify im just stubborn enough not to be forced into anything
I made an educated examination of family structures as well as a heartfelt examinination about what felt right to my spirit.
I hope that one day people will see plural lifestyles as valid and not just a group of ignorant religious ‘freaks.’ I want my children to feel as though they can love as their heart leads them!!!
June 27, 2008 at 4:24 pm
yes you can get support from the “sister wives”..
but normally a woman gets support from her friends if a man is cheating on her.. making love, touching caressing, saying “i love you” to another woman..
plural wives get this treatment EVERY DAY while they are in the other room of their own home!
is a plural wife really ok with this?
she has no jealousy..no hard feelings when their husband comes out of the bedroom with his other wife, glowing with orgasm and smellling of eachother and then sits down like nothing happened?
they know where their husband is every night, ..he is in the other room with his member inside of another woman!
June 27, 2008 at 4:26 pm
and any plural wife willing to honestly answer my concern can say she has no feelings about it, or that she does..
but no plural wife can deny that her hasban is having sex with another woman day in and day out, that her juice is all over him, that he is licking her breasts, laying on top of her, she is putting his member in her mouth, and then he is kissing you!
November 17, 2008 at 3:37 am
i am one of those people who believe that you should love everyone, no matter race, gender, orientation, religious beliefs, background, lifestyle… i think everyone deserves many many chances.
i don’t know how i would feel about sharing my husband, but i do know that that your marriages last, while those of everyone else… have a half and half chance of survival. worse if you’re young. even worse than that with the economy the way it is.
i also love children. i think there is nothing better than having children, leaving a piece of you behind when you pass on to carry on your values and beliefs and morals and pass them on to other little pieces of you, all of them created in love. children are… absolutely incredible.
so there’s my thoughts on things. i don’t care how anyone lives their lives. i believe what jeffs did was absolutely wrong, though. he used his position to gain power and control over people.
is everyone born into polygamist families that become polygamists… or… how does that happen? I always wondered.
November 23, 2008 at 8:19 pm
The concept of being within a relationship with multiple wives must be a spiritual and a family focused decision. The problem with American society is that the lifestyle afforded teaches us to go after things that do not promote prosperity. The reality that men desire more than one women is self evident if we simply look at the high profits from pornography and strip tease institutions. These actors take sex and manipulate it for the negative. That’s why people don’t see it for what it is, a means of spiritually bonding for the expression of God’s power of creation that he has given to all of us. Women should learn to empathize with this miraculous power man possesses and Men need to honor and respect the Women who bring this potential power into kinetic existance. Moreover, the industry thrives because natural law dictates more female than male in all species resulting in sale increases due to the vast difference in the number of males vs. females partaking in this industry; and the predators cannot wait until our daughters turn 18. I would rather my daughter be in a polygamous relationship that is true and stable, than for her to be private or public hoar for hire and a laughingstock. Most monogomous relationships are based on selfish I ism, that turns into nothingness or leads to sex outside of the two parties or the emasculation of the male . The desire for women to restrict a man to being with only one woman results from exaggerations of romance from the Rennaissance Period coming out of The Dark Ages. A man produces seed until the day of his death. The American system continues to promote bans on polygamy in it’s own economic interests as the divorce rate increases staggeringly and homosexuality obtains the privelidge of dconstant legal debate. Polygamy is simply hated altogether and associated with cults. A woman loses her ability to birth with Menopause. It is an inherent ability for Men to desire to spread his seed, which Women do not possess. Yet, Women attempt to control how a man deseminates his genetic code, which restricts him of the freedom to do so. This is why most married men support prostitution, masterbate and support pornography, or simply sleep with another women. Polygamy is decided upon by spiritually minded people and if uncurrpted it’s use can allow us as humans to truly feel the blessing of love and abundance that God set out for us. It is individualism and concern with the act of sex, that limits one from envision the blessings of it and use it apprpriately, healthily and with good judgment. Those who oppose this statement have yet to set their ideas aside for the greater good of life. Polygamy affords just people the opportunity to have a true family nucleus unscathed by personal desire and in support of the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. We violate God’s will by using birth control and many other vises of the contemporary world designed to stagnate the fruitfulness of mankind. Penis envy is the only reason that Women do not desire to repect the natural right of man to spread his seed with good judgement; ie hatred of the male for the role possessed by the possession of the penis and it’s proper usage.. Polygamy is banned in America because if widely practiced in conjunction with the economic system and stable family financial strategies, we would all be in mansions and not lack for anything. It is the duping of society through mass media and mind manipulation of facts and input of useless opinions from bitter, selfish and/or Godless people that keeps us away from working together with one common goal,and that should be the main principle of polygamy. Not sexual gratification, for we all can masterbate ourselves. I am married and have a better understanding of women than someone who is single; singly lookin for sex. If you are with a boy or a man of no spiritual wherewithal, your views will reflect those of the men you choose. The blind lead the blind. If you are a man that abuses your gift to choose who and how you sexually interact with women, the same applies to you and you are not guiding your women to love, just turning them into hoars to hoar after the vises of the unnatural system for the profit of the unjust. The question is not whether polygamy is bad, it is how do you want to be rich; in your heart mind and spirit, or in the bank, your hands and the sight of others. Some who agree with the premise polygamy rests on are afraid to practice it due to a lack of public acceptance- peer pressure. Oh, there’a also the police arresting practitioners possibility. I am no religious freak. I take the good from all cultures to not bias my self from any benefit afforded to me by being born an earthling. Clean the yoke out of your own eyes before you can help someone clean the yoke out of theirs. I am in search of a Women who will repect the polygamous way of life and it seems more difficult being of afro carribean descent. I feel that Africans were matrilineal but practiced matrlineal polygamy before their indoctriantion with christianity. Now in American women would rather be alone and marry the story of Jesus, than to live with a man or open their minds to the reality that the majority of men do not have the ability to take care of them and that stability comes with sacrifice. They’d rather be tricked into unfruitful sexual encounters and bicker with men that were unfavorable suitors from the beginning. I need to shed a perpective from a young, educated Afrocarribean American aspiring for greatness and to reinstate my rights of a man from the creater. Man is not Woman. But we need to respect each others life positions.
May 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Yes, there are women who were not raised in polygamy who want to be polygamists. Not all of them for religious reasons, but some due believe it to be biblical.
I personally believe that polygamy is biblical. I don’t believe all people are called to live as polygamists.
If no one is forcing polygamy on everyone and there is no abuse in the home…Then why do other people have such a problem with it? No one is saying they have to live that way. I am saying however they have no right to decide for me! If I want to live in polygamy, then that is my choice.
What gets me is the people who give the example of ‘your’ husband is sleeping with ‘another’ woman in ‘your’ home. What they just don’t get is… that is not ‘another’ woman…It’s his wife! It’s “our” home…
Now, that said we are not currently living in polygamy. Someday, if we are blessed with the right person that will change. In the meantime we are praying about it. But it’s OUR choice.
There will never be any abuse in our home. No one is being forced into this. Why is it that people are more likely to accept the man who has several ‘baby momma’s’ but attack men who are making a commitment for eternity to their wives?